A MemoirBook - 2019
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"HOW DID I get here? I got here because neither of my parents was old enough or wise enough to take care of my brother and me the way that all children are entitled to be cared for. They loved us. But they were not capable of putting our needs first. They did not know how to protect us from danger, and they put us in its way over and over again. I got here because I couldn't bear to face the question: "how does it feel to be whored by your mother for five hundred dollars?" I got here because I never dealt with all the rejection and scorn that came my way throughout my career. It would be too much of a reinforcement of a much deeper feeling inside me, that someday, somehow, there would be some kind of big powwow, at which everyone would concur: What the fuck is she doing here? She's not good enough. She's dirty. Get her out. Get her out. I got here because from day one I've been wondering, Is it okay that I'm here? And it was finally time for me to tell myself: yes." pgs. 245-248
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